Vicious Tendencies

Carlos Mencia was on Preston and Steve this morning and was talking about respect. He was telling a story about walking down the street and he saw a teenager walking by and Carlos extended a “Hello” to which the young man replied “What’s up?”

Now this is a socially accepted response. The phrase ‘what’s up’ has been used since what, 1990? That’s as far back as I can remember. The brain of most people would compute that as ‘response accepted’ and go on to the next task. Carlos’ didn’t. Neither did my Grandmother’s.

This isn’t a bash on Carlos, he has enough of that on the Internet, but this is something I’ve never understood. Carlos went on to suggest that he has a lot more life experience than the young man he met. He’s been around a lot longer. Undeniable, of course. I draw a problem with his next sentiment. The sentiment that just because of those facts, he deserves respect. He acknowleged the young man, he extended a greeting to him, he feels that he should be greeted with a ’sir’. While I don’t disagree with that, as it stands, I draw issue with the better-than-you mentality.

This was also my grandmothers fault.

Demanding respect due to “elder status” is not right in my opinion. If anything, demand respect because everyone deserves it.

In my opinion, everyone has respect, until you do something to lose it. I don’t know the guy walking down the street, I don’t know anything about him, and when I greet him, it’s out of respect for my fellow man. Not because I feel above him.

Just some random thoughts. This is one major reason I never got along with my grandmother. We grew up in different times, I guess, but it doesn’t change what is fair.

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I spent Saturday up in the beautiful mountains with Justine, my parents and my brothers moving furniture to a new home for my one brother.  It was a scenario where he needed furniture and Justine and I had too much, so it worked out for both of us.  Plus we got to spend the day in tranquility.  Unfortunately, I forgot the camera, but rest assured, there will be many visits in the future.

While there, my brother revealed that while he was unpacking, he found hundreds of photographs from his youth, which also included several of me.  I used to be a goofy kid.

Why can’t I remember it?

I don’t remember any of it.  When I questioned my mom all she said was “You used to be a happy person.”

Which actually reinforces something I’ve been privy to discover about myself in recent years.  I feel I have a lot of suppressed aggression, but the funny thing is, I don’t feel angry.  I just feel…i don’t know, it’s hard to describe…sad, but in a weird way.  Not like ‘boo hoo’ sad, because, frankly, I have nothing to be sad about, but it’s the feeling of being down.  I don’t like the word depression, because I don’t feel that fits what I’m trying to describe, but hell, I’m no doctor.

In discussing things with Justine, Mom and Steven in the past few weeks, they both agree that I have a lot to be angry about, to which I agree, but why doesn’t it just pass and go away?  There is no sense in staying angry at things that cannot be changed, and I know this, but it seems my brain just dismisses the anger to suppression instead of release.

Maybe I should seek help?  You know, because therapists don’t have their own issues to deal with.  Right.

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Wow, that was fast!

I received this popup alert today at work.

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