Dedicated to my Apple :D


It broke

In a late response to this post, it broke. The end of the universe has been postponed.



Does she love me or not?

If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that youve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you.

If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you.

If she hides your shoes when youre late for work, and from a supine position on the couch plays Hot/Cold, and, finally, after 15 minutes of you ignoring her screaming, Boiling! Burning up! every time you stalk angrily by the dishwasher, gets up, flips it open to reveal the shoes, sitting there among the plates, and hands them over with a kiss and a giggle, and then laughs some more as you tie your laces in a silent rage: She loves you.

If she calls you at work that day to ask, How are those shoes working out?: She loves you.

If when you get home you try to hide something of hers, she finds it immediately, shaking her head, and when she pulls whatever it isoven mitts or stretch pantsfrom behind the couch, she looks at you and without any attempt to hide her pity, says, I love you: She loves you.

If youre Gael Garcia Bernal: She loves you.

If youre not Gael Garcia Bernal, but youre willing to sit through a GGB marathon and agree for 10 consecutive hours that he is indeed the most beautiful and talented man aliveand so down-to-earth, too!and afterward agree that his portrayal of Che Guevara would have earned an Oscar nod were it not for the implicit politics, agree that taking Spanish classes is a great idea, or salsa, or tango, whatever, agree, agree, agree, and that night lying in bed after sex that ends with her screaming, Si! Si! wonder aloud, But youre happy with me, right?: She loves you, manno one can compete with that Latin bastard. Forget about it.

If she puts up with an entire Stars of the Lid album on a long-distance road trip: She loves you.

If she dances with your friends: She loves you.

If at Halloween youre invited to a TV- and movie-themed party and she dresses up as Winnie Cooper and you dress up as Paul Pfeiffer, mainly because you already have the glasses, and at the party some guy whos a dead ringer for Fred Savage saunters up, peels off his mole, and says, Get lost, Paul, Winnies mine, and youre left standing there while the two of them go off dancing to the soundtrack from Forrest Gump, and when two hours later she finds you sitting by the punch bowl explaining for the umpteenth time that, no, youre not supposed to be Woody Allen, she holds up a tie stolen from a passed-out Alex P. Keaton to her petticoat and redubs herself Annie Hall, and you Alvy Singer: She loves you. And, to be honest, I sort of love you, too.

If shes a zombie: She loves you, but only for your brains.

If she says, I love you on the roller coaster, right after youve puked down your shirt: She loves you.

If you go to a karaoke bar with friends and do a duet of Endless Love, and she insists on doing the Lionel Richie part if only so she can really belt out a big Ooh whoa near the end, and when youre done she announces you to the crowd as Miss Diana Ross, everybody, and then gives you a high-five: She loves you.

If she plays pointedly with strangers babies at the park, intermittently looking over to you with an expression that says, See?: She loves you.

If her parents love you: She loves you, probably.

If her parents hate you: She might love you, too.

If shes the youngest of four sisters, two of whom are lesbians, the third a nun, and the first time you meet her father he pulls you away from his wifes gingersnaps and homemade iced tea to check out the vintage titty mags he keeps hidden underneath a bench in the six-by-four corner of the basement he calls his workshop, the only place in the house not painted lavender and decorated with images of kittens and/or sunflowers, and every few pages he points out a particularly luxuriant pubis, and when you concurSweethe smacks you heartily on the back and before you know it hes calling you Son and have you ever fished for pike up north? Because hes got a cabin. What of this? Well, her dad sure as hell loves you. Welcome to the family!

If she ever says the words, I hate you: She loves you. Or she did at one point, anyway.

If she loves you, if she really loves you, youll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and its not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning to talk, if she laughs at your jokes when theyre funny and makes fun of you when theyre not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you.

And with a love like that, you know you should be glad.

-Pasha Malla-


When I meet a homeless person, I will make a conscious effort to remember to ask them their story. Upon hearing it, I will give them $5-$10 depending on the situation.

If they lost everything due to something foolish, I will buy them a cup of coffee and wish them well.


Thoughts on Respect

Carlos Mencia was on Preston and Steve this morning and was talking about respect. He was telling a story about walking down the street and he saw a teenager walking by and Carlos extended a “Hello” to which the young man replied “What’s up?”

Now this is a socially accepted response. The phrase ‘what’s up’ has been used since what, 1990? That’s as far back as I can remember. The brain of most people would compute that as ‘response accepted’ and go on to the next task. Carlos’ didn’t. Neither did my Grandmother’s.

This isn’t a bash on Carlos, he has enough of that on the Internet, but this is something I’ve never understood. Carlos went on to suggest that he has a lot more life experience than the young man he met. He’s been around a lot longer. Undeniable, of course. I draw a problem with his next sentiment. The sentiment that just because of those facts, he deserves respect. He acknowleged the young man, he extended a greeting to him, he feels that he should be greeted with a ‘sir’. While I don’t disagree with that, as it stands, I draw issue with the better-than-you mentality.

This was also my grandmothers fault.

Demanding respect due to “elder status” is not right in my opinion. If anything, demand respect because everyone deserves it.

In my opinion, everyone has respect, until you do something to lose it. I don’t know the guy walking down the street, I don’t know anything about him, and when I greet him, it’s out of respect for my fellow man. Not because I feel above him.

Just some random thoughts. This is one major reason I never got along with my grandmother. We grew up in different times, I guess, but it doesn’t change what is fair.


I got dis


I’ve been speaking to SecuROM DRM using companies through my wallet for quite some time, but this guy has hit the nail on the head in exactly how I feel about the whole debacle.

I respect the fact that developers spend a lot of money and put a lot of time into creating great games. I am completely willing to put up my $50 for a new title. I am not willing to be treated to third party software installs on my computer, EULAs that effectively eliminate any rights I may have to use that software or dictate how I may do so after I�ve paid my money or in short, be treated like a criminal while the individuals who do pirate your software enjoy a better user experience.

Ben goes on to quote an EA rep from their forum, which pretty much sums up why EA is the devil

Be nice in your forums. The below quote is a perfect example of not being nice. It shows only that you would willingly take away a paying user�s ability to play a game based on words they would say.

Your forum account will be directly tied to your Master EA Account, so if we ban you on the forums, you would be banned from the game as well since the login process is the same. And you�d actually be banned from your other EA games as well since its all tied to your account. So if you have SPORE and Red Alert 3 and you get yourself banned on our forums or in-game, well, your SPORE account would be banned to. It�s all one in the same, so I strongly reccommend people play nice and act mature.

All in all, we expect people to come on here and abide by our ToS. We hate banning people, it makes our lives a lot tougher, but its what we have to do.

Those banned will stay banned, but like most other internet services, its not that hard to create a new fake e-mail account. However, its a lot harder to get a new serial key =)

I�m glad that smiley is in there or this slap in my face would sting a lot more. In short, don�t punish us for buying your software.

This really is a good read, and I highly recommend any gamer chooses to speak out about the way we’re treated.

An open letter to Electronic Arts – because voting with my wallet isn�t enough.



Now, I usually don’t get affected by Interweb trolls, but sometimes I’m completely at a loss.  Sometimes the setup is just too good.  I present to you, the first time I can recall being pulled in by one of these deranged entities.



I spent Saturday up in the beautiful mountains with Justine, my parents and my brothers moving furniture to a new home for my one brother.  It was a scenario where he needed furniture and Justine and I had too much, so it worked out for both of us.  Plus we got to spend the day in tranquility.  Unfortunately, I forgot the camera, but rest assured, there will be many visits in the future.

While there, my brother revealed that while he was unpacking, he found hundreds of photographs from his youth, which also included several of me.  I used to be a goofy kid.

Why can’t I remember it?

I don’t remember any of it.  When I questioned my mom all she said was “You used to be a happy person.”

Which actually reinforces something I’ve been privy to discover about myself in recent years.  I feel I have a lot of suppressed aggression, but the funny thing is, I don’t feel angry.  I just feel…i don’t know, it’s hard to describe…sad, but in a weird way.  Not like ‘boo hoo’ sad, because, frankly, I have nothing to be sad about, but it’s the feeling of being down.  I don’t like the word depression, because I don’t feel that fits what I’m trying to describe, but hell, I’m no doctor.

In discussing things with Justine, Mom and Steven in the past few weeks, they both agree that I have a lot to be angry about, to which I agree, but why doesn’t it just pass and go away?  There is no sense in staying angry at things that cannot be changed, and I know this, but it seems my brain just dismisses the anger to suppression instead of release.

Maybe I should seek help?  You know, because therapists don’t have their own issues to deal with.  Right.



I’m not really a fan of the Terminator series, but it’s not that I’m not a fan, it’s more that I was just never really interested. This scene popped up on a forum I visit and impressed me for a TV spinoff of a series that is really just as epic as the Terminator franchise has become.

Well done.

Sarah Connor Chronicles | Cameron: “I Love You John!”


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